Ken's Barbie.

I posted this at my posterous site: http://whyamisoblessed.posterous.com/ 


This is about a guy who constantly tells me how much he loves me and that he's willing to wait forever. just kidding. nothing is forever.. blah blah blah..


I posted this last October 22, 2011.


*while I was making this, I was listening to the song “Never Alone by Lady Antebellum – the first song he shared to me the first time I got my heart broken

***

I can still remember the very first time our paths crossed. It was at school and I was kinda grumpy that time because of the long traffic I’ve been through. You said hi and I didn’t reply and raised my left eyebrow. After a couple of seconds I received a text from somebody saying “nagkita ta, wala ko nimu gitagad”. I found out that it was you, ken takumi, who said hi. It was you, ken, my virtual friend.. My definition for friend is someone who is not onlywith there with you during good times but someone who never leaves you during the worst times of your life. We were facebook friends since September 2010 but I never had an idea that you already wanted to befriend me since 2009. Gosh, you waited for a year before sending me a friend request? *smile. I never had any idea what kind of person you were because I never gave you a chance to show me who you are. Your pick-up lines were cliché for me since I thought you were one of those guys who don’t really mean what they were saying. Lately, the thought about you making an effort just to get my name seems really heart-warming and it sometimes makes me feel worthy since recently, somebody made me feel worthless. 

***

You waited almost two years for us to be closer than you could have ever imagined. Admit it; you didn’t even think we would be as close as what we are now, right? Nobody ever made me feel like you do how lucky they were just because I get to laugh with them, walk with them, and to even just talk with them.  I never even get to say “thank you for your time” because you were the one who always said that. You showed me how grateful you are to just even have like 30 minutes of talking with me or was it just 15 minutes or less? I never even get to say “thank you for listening” the time when you always asked me how I was the first time my heart was broken. You called me last march just to remind me how beautiful and wonderful I am and someday, someone will let me realize my worth. You even video called me just so I can have someone to talk to. You tolerated my crying moments over the phone. You would even pay a lot just to call me and you’d never hear anything except my cry. You sent me videos just to encourage me even though none of them really helped me since I was the only person who can help me. I was taught by someone that “I am the bearer of my feelings” which means, I am responsible for my feelings. If I was sad that time it’s because I chose to be sad.

***

Heartbreak after heartbreak, you were there all along. You never left me. How grateful I am to have such a great friend like you. You never even took advantage of those times when I was lonely because you even helped me praying for that someone to come back. You just wanted me to be happy. When my heart was broken again, you felt my sadness. *tears. You would even help me to make that person jealous by posting videos on my wall though it didn’t work out and though how that person made me wrong, I didn’t hear any negative comment from you. You always see the good side of a person. I then realized that you have unconditionally loving me. You have loved me enough to make any possible things just for me to be happy, even if it didn’t include you.

***

I never hung-out with you since I isolated myself from everybody and that I wasn’t comfortable enough to talk about the sad things that were happening in my life recently but, I realized that it was really very unfair for your part and for that time, I was wiser enough since I didn’t let sadness control me. I was then start looking for you, asking things like “where are you?, what are you doing?” but it was only up to there. *laugh.  Until one day we started seeing each other almost every day with our friends and after TWO YEARS, we got the chance to get to know each other. :)

As much as you never wanted anybody to hurt me, I would also never want anybody to hurt you. Yes, it was two years and that didn’t stop here. Everything worth having is worth waiting for and if while you’re waiting you’ll find someone you think could be the reason why I let you wait, ask God’s help because He already knows even before you asked. If it’s not me, may she be able to see how wonderful you are and maybe, just maybe, God just made me an instrument for you to find the happiness you truly deserve :).

***

Thank you. Thank you for loving me more than you could have loved anyone else. Thank you for the times you spent with me just to listen for my heartaches when you could have spent it with your friends. Thank you for every conversation you’ve shared with me and for those times you made me laugh and smile and..

Thank you for your understanding.

...and just like the song you shared to me during my downfall – NEVER ALONE. You, ken, will never be alone.