I fell in love with my bestest friend :)

I love US. I love you and I love myself which makes US so perfect for each other. I love everything about you. I love how you say my name, I love the way you grab and hold my hand and squeeze it so tight, I love the way you sing to me, I love how you touch my face with both hands, I love every time you look at me because you always looked at me the way you look at a below zero beer the way I always wanted to be looked at.

Like any other ordinary hopeless romantic people, we had our own fair share of heartbreak stories at some point in our lives well as for me, it didn’t only happened once. Maybe because I was the kind of girl who loves so much that I forgot to love myself which was totally wrong and I was a bit naive of how really love supposed to work and as for you, you had your own story to tell too. I bet yours was more difficult. We lived in a different world before. I don’t even think I’d fit in to your world but even though you lived totally different from me I will tell you upfront that I have always loved you since the day you chose me to be your friend. 

We are not “High School Sweethearts” way back then. I didn’t even remember we were teased by our classmates. We were more of “Just Friends” but unlike most of my friends, we never hanged out more often like how friends should supposed to hang out but when we do, we talk deeply about each others lives and I am amazed as to how we keenly listened to one another. I don’t know but there’s this something in you that makes me really want to listen. I hugged you during our retreat because you cried for a reason but I also laughed at you when you really wanted to go home because you badly needed to go to the toilet. Every time we see each other in School, we always feel excited of greeting each other but you always do it with an insult. *laughs*

It was the last school year in High School.. the time when we were about to graduate when I commended you for being so good in playing the guitar then you told me “Frndzt, ikaw baya reason nag tuon gyud ko ug guitar kay kadto 1^st year ta palag kaayo ko nga babae ka pero kabalo paka mo guitar sa ako.” You have NO IDEA how happy I was to hear those words from you. Even if you didn’t see it I always cared for you. I always prayed that life will offer you good things. When we were in college, the more we didn’t had a lot of time to hang out and talk about life updates but I was by afar looking at you and hoping that you are doing well in School and you are simply happy with whoever you are with. :’) There was even a time when I saw you held hands with our common friend and felt weird emotion while asking myself “Ngano siya man? Nga mas close man unta mi”. Hihihihih =’> but I never nurtured that feeling for I know then that we are only friends. Just friends.

I know maybe 90 percent of your darkest secrets because you shared everything to me without doubts. Sometimes I wondered if you’ve forgotten that I’m a girl so never in my wildest dreams that I wanted to be with someone like you. I’m sorry. I just have to say this and it’s your fault. You told me everything about your relationships with women before BUT BUT BUT, even though I know your darkest side and even though I know all your “bad” whereabouts, I still looked at you as a good man. I know that you have something within that is so good and you just have to show it off. 

Fast forward... there were those times in our lives when we never heard about each other and we both know why. I was disappointed at you for some apparent reasons but I chose to understand you and love you even how messed up you think you were. I will even pick up a fight for you. You know I hate it so much when I hear people talk bad things about you. I hate it when some people humiliates you in social media and I’d go like “Look who’s talking?” . *bitch face on* 

The time when we saw each other you told me everything I failed to know and it was like my heart was crushed knowing how sad you were and I can’t even do anything to make you feel whole again. You know I’d always be there for you when you needed me. You clearly know that. 

Out of the blue, after a year and a half when we were already waters away. I came to see you in the city where you currently live and our lives changed after that day. That day when you had the courage to tell me how much you love me. How much you longed for me to be yours. How much you waited for that perfect timing and I think that time was so perfect. We didn't plan it. We didn't even talked  with each other before that day but the time when you held my hand and looked straight into my eyes while saying “Gusto kaayo taka. Gusto kaayo taka sauna pa”. I know that was genuine. What made me proud of you was you didnt force me to be yours right away. 

When I talked with a few people about the confession you made, I heard different stories but I always know that there is something good in you. I know that despite of your Hey-why-dont-pick-up-someoen-with-your-ow

n-size image there is that sweet side of you that only the lucky one can experience and sorry girls, that’s me. :) 

I am so thankful for giving me the kind of love that I always wanted. For taking care of me even if you’re far away. For giving me your time no matter how busy you are and I will forever be grateful that you were courageous enough to finally let me know how much you love me. I have never ever felt so adored in my life and you do it so easily. I have never felt so important to anyone until you came. You are the sweetest man alive. I cannot even believe you can do sweet things like giving me flowers on my birthday. It was the first time I received a flower, balloons, cake and a card from my significant other on my birthday. You looked at me like I am the most beautiful girl on earth. You showed me the love I always dreamed of having. Now,  we do not have tell each other that we lived in two different worlds because the world we live now  is the same already.  I love you very much and I cannot even create the most perfect lines to tell you how I really feel.I know it’s still too early to say but I want you to be the one for me forever. I wanna make up with those times wasted being someones girlfriend. I want to take care of you. I want to  be the one you're gonna spend your whole life with. Please let me be. 

I love you always. All ways.