10th DAY.

" You have only been gone 10 days but already I'm wasting away. I know I'll see you again. Whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care and I miss you".

it's been ten days since the day you left me. Still, waking up is not that easy. You were the first person I had in mind every time I woke up for the last month. Do you still remember when I told you "Your good morning texts makes my day beautiful" ? :'(

It still hurts. It hurts so bad.

And you know what hurts most? It's when you make me feel that you don't even care and you don't give a damn. I really don't know how to cope with this feeling. It's something I never felt before. Yes, I NEVER FELT BEFORE but that doesn't even matter to you right? I don't know if you're just playing mind games or *sigh. I REALLY DON'T KNOW. The only person who can help me with this is the same person who caused this and it's you but, despite of the pain you've caused me, I'm still not mad :( but I'm sad. I'm sad because you left me hanging and I cannot seem to understand WHY because we were still very okay the day before you left right? I really am so sad and not even this blog can ease the pain. I just don't know why you left me. Am I too hard to handle?

I don't wanna over-think because I trusted you so much. I gave you my heart BEcause I thought you'll never break it. Same as you saying "I know you won't let anything bad happen to my heart mon".

Almost everything I do reminds me of you. When I wake up, I remember your "good morning mon! I love you very much.ü ". You even told me , " Take care mon. I can't afford to lose you at an early age. " And now??? what went wrong? *sigh. And even a lizard can remind me of you.

This is awful.

I still remember the things you told me. You told me all the sweetest words on earth. I thought that you're for me and I'm for you but things happened the way you want it. You decided this to happen and you made a choice and left me with no choice but with memories and with broken pinky swears. You should have given me a warning or you should have told me the reasons BEHIND.

I always pray that everything will be fine.

I'm praying that you'll stay but  what if you're praying that I'll stay away? :(

I am not mad at you and it's safe to say that even if you broke your pinky swears, my feelings for you is still the same.

I miss you. I miss everything about you. :'(

I don't wanna move on :'(

If you will tell me that I'll wait for you. I am very willing to do that. As long as I know that you will come back.

But if there's no reason for me to wait I'll accept it and feel the pain.

If you'll tell me that you still love me just for once, I'll be happy then and I'll wait for your sweet come-back.

I miss you and I'm sad about your decision.